Liverpool Jokes :P
Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
Q: Why will Liverpool never win the League?
A: They keep scoring Owen goals
A: They keep scoring Owen goals
Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool...
A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool...
Q: What's is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Q: What do Pool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 2,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
A: One in 2,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How can you tell a level headed Liverpool supporter?
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Liverpol fan with a pig?
A: Thick bacon...
A: Thick bacon...
A father and son were eating breakfast. The fathers newspaper had the headline "Van Gogh sold for £8 million".
The son asked "is he worth it, Dad?", to which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap"
The son asked "is he worth it, Dad?", to which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap"
Newsflash: Thieves broke into the home of a Liverpool fan and stole two books. "The thing that upsets me", he said "is that I hadn't finished colouring them in yet!"
Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a Scowser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.
A: A battery has a positive side.
Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they ain't mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.
A: So they ain't mistaken fur a Liverpudlian women.
Q: Why did Beardsley never play in Scotland
A: Cos he wiz afraid of the Bells (Scottish Premier)
A: Cos he wiz afraid of the Bells (Scottish Premier)
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