Manchester City Jokes :P
What has 10 arms and an IQ of 4? The Man City subs bench.
Thieves broke into Maine Road last night & stole something from every room except the canteen. That's why they left without any cups.
Why do City fans put team stickers on their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.
Joe Royle unlocks the city trophy room door & Shergar ran out. Bad enough but Lord Lucan was riding him.
How many city players does it take to win a trophy? Only 11- but you have to go back 25 years to find them.
How many city fans does it take to change a light bulb? None- Their all happy living in United's shadow
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Alfe Inge Haland
Alfe Inge Haland who?
I didn't know you could yodel
What do you call 20 Manchester City Fans skydiving from an aeroplane? Diahorrea.
Q: Name three English clubs with swear-words in their names.
A: Scunthorpe, Arsenal, and Manchester Fucking City.
What's the difference between a lift and City? A lift doesn't take 9 months to go down
A new Man City Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It'll be called "laughing stock".
What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Maine Road? They score
Rumour has it that to cut the cost of the repairs to City's scoreboard which, only the light bulbs in the half used to show the opponents score will be fixed.
The other half will just have 'Bolton 0' painted on in yellow emulsion.
The announcer says that City have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead.
"That's amazing," says the barman. "What does he do when they win?"
The City Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies: "I dunno.... I've only had the dog for eight months."
Man City are apparently under investigation by the Inland Revenue for tax evasion; they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 25 years.
Someone asked me the other day, what time do City kick off?
About every ten minutes I replied.
A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm.
"Do you serve Man City fans here?" he asks.
"Certainly Sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.
"Okay," says the man, "a pint of lager for me and a City fan for the alligator."
What do Man City Fans and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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